Haiku time again... The TV Edition

FOOD NETWORK

Chubby "Brah" Clothing,
Spiked, bleached hair is mocking me.
Fieri must die.

Who let Giada,
Mistress of huge freakin' teeth,
On my damn TV?

Iron Chef comes on.
How strange is it when WE start
Ripping off Japan?

Semi-HomeMade? Uh...
You bought it from a store, dude,
Not really from scratch.

Hi! I'm Rachel Ray!
Yummo and et cetera!
Have some crystal meth!

Alton is the man.
No ifs, ands, or buts, bitches.
Show some damn respect.

REALITY TV

It is not real life.
It is about as real life
As I am Chinese.

How many of us
Would honestly watch a show
Called "Your Shitty Job"?

The Situation,
Snooki and the Jersey Shore.
Kill them with fire.

The Simple Life. Ugh.
I won't rest 'til I can drink
From their precious skulls.

The Deadliest Catch.
Risk their lives for rich folks food.
Blood is on their hands.

Filled with bile and hate
Every single time I watch
John and Kate plus 8.

I still have never
Seen any American
Idol. I am proud.

Still, I have to say,
Despite all my objections,
Mythbusters? Awesome.

THE NEWS

Wolf Blitzer has a
Weird name. Cant wait for the show:
"Blitzer and Bohner"

BBC new source.
Fair, real, international.
No one here listens.

NPR, I want
To support, but you keep on
Asking me for cash.

MSNBC
How long 'til the Tea Party
Starts shooting at you?

Fox News, Rush, and Glenn:
Shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP! FUCK!
JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!!!!!

YOU FUCKING WHORE BEASTS!!!!
YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD NEVER
BEEN FUCKING CONCIEVED!!!!!

Sorry. Got a bit
Too carried away just then.
So yeah. Fox news sucks.

IN CONCLUSION...

Kill your TV now.
Your brain wants you to come and
play outside with me.

This is your life and
it's being taken away
second by second...

You don't want to die
Looking back on your life and
see only TV.