Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Ashley's Haiku Challenge, 2012

Ok, here's the deal. I'm sitting beside the lovely, talented, amazing, and beautifully excellent Ashley and she's chastising me for not updating my blog. She said that she'd love me more if I updated more often (or at least it'll be like "extra credit"). This is not a guarantee, mind you... just a suggestion...

Anyway... She's gonna give me topics until she's bored and I will write a haiku about them one at a time. I will time myself, as well. No animals will be harmed in the making of this absurdity, although some cats will be offended...

Ok, it's currently 8:14... GO!

Topic: Liederhosen

Oh, odd German pant
Your suspenders call to me...
I'm glad I'm Swedish.

Topic: Ahnold

The Terminator...
Let me be the first to say

That was totally not cheating, by the way.

Topic: Aliens

Big, almond-eyed freaks
with your lanky bodies... Still...
I would so tap that.

Topic: Swamp loggers

Swamp loggers, you and
Ice road truckers have made a
good channel go bad.

Topic: Ernest Hemmingway

The Old Man, The Sea
I mourn your loss constantly
I drink a lot, too.

Topic: Pimento cheese


Topic: Mud butt

I would do this one
but I'm more worried about
my girlfriend's brain meats.

But seriously...
Get it? Butt seriously!
I said butt... heh heh...

Topic: Daniel Glorioso

They say they've no souls
But I beg to differ, here.
This guy is hell bound.

Topic: 80's hair metal

Shout at the devil
or at least the hairdresser
that gave you that cut.

Topic: Fluffing

You know what this is.
Guess where I met my girlfriend?
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Topic: Erectile dysfunction

Leave it to her to
put the "fun" in dysfunction!
I cry bitter tears...

Topic: Batman

Gotham's dark knight has
some unresolved personal
issues to deal with.

He is clearly a
over-compensator with
Christ-like delusions

Topic: Ted Bundy

Could you help me with
these books? They are quite heavy.
What tire iron?

Time: 8:27.


Song of teh post: The Snoop Dogg song that has the lyric "my sac on your tonsils."
Muse of teh post: My bb!

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