Monday, November 15, 2010

Haiku time...

Haiku time again?
How about "PENIS PENIS

Wolves are attacking!
Someone get Sarah Palin!
She is good wolf food.

Ancient form of art...
Poetry, timeless and new...
Nipple Sausage Rot.

Ah! Aqua Buddha!
Let your ice creamy goodness
Ruin my health care!

Someone as funny
and clever as I am still
makes minimum wage.

Burn up that work clock!
Blog and get paid for blogging!
American Dream!

Be wary of me...
I am unstable and wild...

There once was a man
From Nantucket... Wait a sec.
Wrong poetry style.

Does anyone have
Change for a paradigm? WOAH!
I just
blew your mind!

Purge these silly thoughts...
Make them work for, not against...
Zen art of bullshit.

Can't sleep? Let me help!
Call me now, I'm standing by
With Iron hammers.

If something is made
of iron materials
is it "ferro"cious?

That last haiku was
something just for the geeks, nerds
and mad scientists.

Sup, brah. You should know
This copy of Windows is
Not Genuine, dude.

"Know what you're doing?"
"Of course! I always do this!"
"Then why are there flames?"

Can't sleep? Let me help!
Call me now, I'm standing by,
With pills and nude clowns.

Bukowski was right!
I write better when I'm drunk.
My liver agrees.

Have you heard the news?
They will kill all Grandmas soon!
Damn you, Obama!

Can't sleep? Let me Help!
Call me now, I'm standing by
your bed with a snake.

Lady in red boots
stomping on my scrotum smiles.
She is paid quite well.

If god is both all
knowing and powerful then
why do the tunes suck?

Someone pass me a
Vicodin and a gogurt...
I'm on a journey...

Can't sleep? Let me help!
Call me now, I'm standing by,
I'll bring the Boone's Farm.

Song of teh post: TV Party, by Black Flag
Poet of teh post: Fiendly Grimmish Writes/such bad poetry that you/will shit yourself dead.


  1. I tried to think of the most ridiculous five-syllable phrase to go along with the previous lines. The phrase "nipple sausage rot" sprung to mind almost immediately.

    There is no cure for the crazy I gots...